Age According To Playboy
I’ve decided that Playboy Magazine is a unique way for men to gauge their age.
For most guys, their first look at Playboy probably caused them to think something like “I saw a grown-up woman naked”.
At some point in his life, he realizes that the girl he’s looking at in Playboy is the same age as him. He could actually date her! This occurred for me when Barbi Benton did her first Playboy cover.
Barbi was Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend. Hef had a television show called Playboy After Dark, and I, like most men in the country, watched as Barbi moved from being one of the girls in the crowd, to sitting on the sofa next to Hef. It was then revealed that she was the new girlfriend.
She couldn’t be nude in the magazine because she wasn’t 18 yet, but she got to do a cover. It was a banner day in my life when she turned 18 and the first magazine arrived with her nude in it.
As a side note, every Christmas season the movie It’s A Wonderful Life is shown on television. In the movie Jimmy Stewart wishes he had never been born. His wish is granted, and he sees what the world would have been like without him. If I ever get one last dying wish it would be to be 18 again and get one night with Barbi Benton! But I digress.
Anyway, the next step in the aging process occurs when a man realizes that the women in Playboy are young enough to be his daughter. This usually comes as a shock for most of us.
The real killer is when you realize that the women are young enough to be your granddaughter!
It works like this, if I had fathered a child when I was 18 and that child had had a daughter at 18, my granddaughter would be over 18 by now and as old as the women in Playboy.
Now the question becomes, is it perverted in some way to find these women sexy?
Apparently most men don’t think so. You don’t see any men’s magazines, that I know of, that are filled with women in their 50’s. Women seem to think that men get more attractive with age. There’s an old joke that goes something like, “The older a man gets the more he looks like Clint Eastwood. The older a woman gets, the more she looks like Clint Eastwood.”
Why is it that as a woman ages her opinion of attractiveness seems to move forward in age? Most women in their 30’s are attracted to men in their 30’s and 40’s. Women in their 50’s seem to want men in their 50’s and 60’s.
Yet, it seems to me that while men in their 20’s are attracted to women in their teens and 20’s, when they are in their 30’s they are interested in women from their teens to their 30’s. By the time they reach their 50’s they seem to still be attracted to young women, but have resigned themselves to women in their 50’s.
I’m sure it has to do with some “reproduction” thing where young healthy women in their prime reproductive years trigger a genetic urge to reproduce in men. This causes considerable problems for men however. You find yourself the butt of the “dirty old man” jokes for one. For another, wives seem to frown on this behavior.
It sure would help if men would grow up and quit drooling over young women. I’m sure it’s pretty disgusting for the young women. I know it’s pretty disgusting for our wives. And frankly guys, it probably looks pretty stupid.
It’s like I always told women about my dad, “He still chases women, he just doesn’t remember what to do if he catches one!”. I don’t think I’m that old yet, maybe when the women of Playboy are my great-grandaughters age!
By the way, I think I’ve discovered something about dying wishes. Don’t make your wish in haste. Since I wrote about my wish above, I’ve had time to think it over. I don’t want to be 18 again. I wouldn’t mind being about 30 and having Barbi at 18 though. I’m sure I would have appreciated her much more at that age.
Hey, it’s my dying wish. No need to give up being a dirty old man on my death bed!
PS. Barbi, even in your 50’s you’re still hot. Call me….
